Where’s My Heart?

Who am I at this point? And what does that mean for this blog?

I attended an enlightening writers' workshop last Saturday, and of all the things I learned, what really struck me (hard) was when the speaker, Nelson Dy, asked us to write our Writer's Mission Statement.

Why did I start this blog? I wanted to encourage other moms who were also grappling with this motherhood thing. Those who were blindsided by the fact that while your kid's smile is adorable, it doesn't always magically take away the exhaustion that permeates every pore of your body. I also wanted to share little triumphs, and tips on what worked for me.

Then life happened and I didn't get to update this blog at all--until I joined the Homeschool Review Crew this year. It got me posting regularly. Or at least a bit more regularly. With the trips, and the deadlines, and the retirement of AL this blog went to the bottom on the to-do list again. Of course I still do my best to honor my commitments for the reviews, and I really do enjoy doing those. But it seems that Rainy Days and Mom Days has lost its heart. I seem to have lost my purpose for writing.

I do need to rethink my life. My longest-running project--18 years!--has finally come to an end. It's the project that required me travel out of the country at least twice yearly, and attend local events and conduct interviews regularly. While I enjoyed it immensely, I suppose its time has come (no pun intended--even if it is a watch magazine). I theoretically have more time, but it seems I still don't have time for the things that I want to do. I'm not even sure what I want to do.

I definitely want to continue homeschooling. That's a non-negotiable given. I want to develop a literature-based Philippine history curriculum, the way my beloved Sonlight and Bookshark do it. I want to make a system for teaching the girls Filipino. I also have FitCon MNL 2018 to work on--there are less than nine months before the next bigger and better conference (May 18-20--save the dates). I have a couple of paid writing projects. And of course there's the online education courses that The Hubby and I are trying to put together, so that we earn something while we try to make a go at farming.

And that's the biggest upcoming change. By January next year, we plan a drastic lifestyle change, leaving our home of 12 years and moving up to Baguio City, hoping for a simpler, less stressful life in the mountains. Also, in Baguio, we'd be closer to farmlands.

That's the plan for now anyway.

So where does Rainy Days and Mom Days fit in? I'm not sure. Or I could just be tired and under the weather right now. I definitely will fulfill all my review commitments. And I still want to encourage other moms. But how do I do that if my heart is elsewhere for now? Who knows though. This could also be the wake up call, and I will be so recharged and raring to go back to regular programming here.

So perhaps you could pray for me? For some wisdom and discernment, for grace and direction, for energy and discipline and focus. I would truly appreciate it.

Which path do I take?


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